Breakeven
by HeavenSerenata
Summary: Maia breaks up with Simon. Simon turns to Isabelle. Songfic with The Script's 'Breakeven'.


**A/N: Finally a one shot to my name! Well, it's my first songfic (Because, **_**really**_**, you can't call An Institutional Musical a songfic…You call it, well…a musical?) Anyways, it came to me while I was lying down watching one of the many music channels I have and I heard this song, and thought to myself: Gawd, there are so many Clary and Jace songfics out there, I think I'll do one about Simon and Maia. **

**And to be frankly honest, the only stories that get reviews around here are the one's with JxC in the summary's, so whatever. If this doesn't get reviewed, I don't mind, it may hurt a little (okay a lot) but I'll get over it, because I'll know that I'm improving in my writing skills. **

_**Oh, and italic bits are the lyrics! And, the lyrics apply to the text below it!**_

**Disclaimer: All publically recognized characters belong to Cassandra, and none belong to me…Yes… That is me you can hear sobbing. **

***

_I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing  
just prayed to a god that I don't believe in_

Maia played with the sleeve of her top, tugging on it slightly, frowning into the dark confines of her apartment; the black abyss that she called her heart splayed before her. It had taken her a long, _long_ time to pick up the phone and call him- to dial the familiar number with unfamiliar fingers. She stared at the broken phone at her feet, she had smashed it when she had finished the call, not wanting any reminders of what she was about to do.

She wasn't even sure she knew what she was about to do. It felt so surreal, almost an out of body experience. She had half a mind to salvage her broken phone and call him back. Telling him it was alright, that he didn't need to venture over- that she had nothing to say and that she'd see him tomorrow. But she couldn't. She knew she couldn't, much as it hurt, she had to end it- for both their sakes.

_Cos I got time while she got freedom  
cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even_

Simon frowned all the way to Maia's apartment and then some. She had called him not fifteen minutes before, asking him to come round to her apartment, saying that she needed to talk. When he had asked if it could wait she had snapped and said it couldn't wait, that she had waited long enough. Her voice had sounded so different to him, almost lifeless, thoughtless…Whenever they had spoken there was always emotion in her voice…Her eyes, and he wished that he didn't have to see her eyes. They were probably as emotionless as her voice.

Finally he had reached her apartment complex, one of the nicer one's, he had to only guess how she had gotten the money for it. Climbing the stairs two at a time, his hair windswept from two many windows being open on the subway, he waited with impatient feet for the elevator to make it's way down to him. Yes, he supposed he could have just run up the stairs, but, something had stopped him. Something was telling him out right that he would not like what she had to say…That something was trying to play off the inevitable. The loud ding, of the elevator resounded through the brightly lit foyer, and the doors slid open. He stepped inside, expecting no one at this late hour and getting no one inside the gold confines.

His feet carried him to her door without him registering having gotten out of the elevator, and, using the key she had given him, opened the door out onto the dark living room.

_Her best days will be some of my worst  
she finally met a man that's gonna put her first_

Maia suddenly remembered why exactly she was doing this, why she was causing herself so much pain to break it off. 'Because his heart unknowingly belongs to another': the answer she had supplied to herself as way of reason. _Isabelle-_ She'd have fun with him, they were suited for each other. Hearing the key turn in the lock, she made no room to get up and turn any of the lights on. He would be able to see her without a doubt, plus the whole experience would be better if she was in the dark.

_While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping  
cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven_

"Maia…?" Simon called out softly, knowing she would hear. But why call him at such an un-holy hour? Didn't she like to sleep? His mind switched to Isabelle and the last time he had watched her sleep, it hadn't been long after Max's death and he had held her while she cried. He shook his head, pulling himself out of the memory. He had been thinking about her a lot lately…He didn't know why, but he hoped it didn't show to the rest of the world.

He had reached the centre of the room, and spun around trying to see where she was, his eyes catching her light brown orbs sitting on one of her comforters, staring into nothing although he was aware she had heard him come in. If her tensed body language was anything to go by. He hesitated before walking slowly towards her form, kneeling down in front of her and taking her small hands in his own.

"You wanted to speak to me?" He asked, frowning.

_What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you  
what am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok_

Her eyes locked with his as he took her hands in his own and she fought down the want to punch him in the face- and not because he was a vampire, either. She stared at him for a while, not saying anything. At last she opened her mouth, suppressing any of the shivers of pleasure his smooth hands gave to her upon contact with her skin.

"We can't- _I_ can't do this anymore, Simon." She whispered, little bits of her breaking with every word. It's for the best, she kept telling herself. But for him, or for her?

_I'm falling to pieces  
I'm falling to pieces_

He openly gaped at her words. She wasn't making any sense. They had been fine up until her call, hadn't they? There had been nothing wrong with her nothing amiss. She was always just Maia, lovely beautiful Maia who he loved. And now she was saying she couldn't do it anymore? Why?

"Maia, I don't know what you mean…Is it something I've done?"

_They say bad things happen for a reason  
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding_

She sighed, watching his features as he tried to comprehend her words, "It's not you; rather it's what your feel. I mean, I've noticed it for a while…You don't-It's not how it used to be. I think you just finally realised that I wasn't the one." She squeezed her eyes shut, willing herself not to cry. Crying wouldn't help any of their situations right now.

Her face scrunched up as she whispered: "I'm just not the one you want." She turned her head away from him, not wanting to look into his confused eyes.

_Cos she's moved on while I'm still grieving  
cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven_

"Hey. Hey!" He pulled one of his hands out of hers to grab her chin, lightly, and turn it back around so that she was looking at him. "You are-you…Maia, I love you…What's the matter? How can you believe any of that stuff?" He took his hand back and ran it through his hair.

"Maia, you are the one that I want…Can't you see that?" He asked, a pleading tone in his voice.

_What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you  
what am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok_

"No Si, no I _can't_ see that." Her bottom lip quivered and she sucked it into her mouth. She would not cry, and neither would she give up. No matter how broken she'd leave herself. "You haven't been right for a few weeks. And I just figure this is easier than forcing you to do anything…Simon just leave, go and find her." She told him with solemn eyes.

_I'm falling to pieces  
I'm falling to pieces _

_One still in love while the other ones leaving  
cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven_

"Maia! Stop…Just stop pushing me away! For Pete's sake…Stop. I don't _want_ to go away. Can't you hear that? I don't want to go anywhere! I want to stay right here… with you." He was sounding like a seven year old but dire situations call for dire acts. He couldn't loose her. He wouldn't loose her. But maybe he already had.

_You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain  
you took your suitcase, I took the blame._

Maia sighed, watching him with unreadable eyes, contemplating whether or not she had made the right choice in choosing to let him go. An old saying came to mind, one of the most cliché saying she'd ever heard, but suddenly, it felt like the most wonderful thing ever to grace her ears. 'If you love something, let it go. If it was meant to be it will come back to you.' Yes, she loved Simon, and yes she loved him enough to see that he wasn't really happy with her. That he needed someone else. And yes, he would come back to her, but not as he was before.

"I'm not pushing you away Simon. You're already gone. You can't stay with me, you know why? Because you- your heart and everything else about you wants someone else! Stop deluding yourself into thinking that someone is me. Just go and get her Simon. She'll be the happiest woman alive. Just go." She pleaded, taking her hands out of his grip and folding them on her lap.

_Now I'm try'na make sense of what little remains  
cos you left me with no love, no love to my name._

Simon closed his eyes, he was sure if he wasn't a vampire he'd have probably been crying. He shook his head, standing up and walking towards the door with measured steps. Just as he opened the door he turned back silently, hoping she'd ask him to stay. She didn't.

"I will always love you." He said quietly, waiting a little before walking slowly through the door.

_I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing_

"Just not enough…" She whispered back before the door closed.

_Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in  
cos I got time while she got freedom_

Simon decided to run down the stairs this time, not bothering to wait for the elevator. Bounding out through the lobby doors, he didn't stop running until he reached soft compacted earth. No the earth of streets with layers of tar cement and tarmac. But the soft earth of greenery. Looking around he realised where he was: Central Park. Looking down at his wrist watch he had gotten there in record time. One of the perks of being a vampire he supposed.

Jumping over the fences he walks along the paths, thinking where he had gone wrong. Sure, sometimes he had been a little out of it…But what, now he wasn't allowed to day dream? Her last words echoed through his head 'Just not enough…' He loved her, just not enough. What the hell was that supposed to mean? He- just then he felt the distinct signs of rain, falling on his deep brown locks. Great, so it wasn't enough that he had just been, and let's face it, dumped, it had started to rain?

He growled started to run again before he hit a large square patch and finally fell to his knees, laying in puddles of rain water, letting the insistent rain soak him through.

_Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even_

Maia sat in her seat for a while after he left, unmoving and feeling nothing. Eventually she found he legs carrying her up and out of her chair, into her bedroom and to her full length mirror. She stared at it for a while, looking at her face, the hard lines of grief etched into its features. The way she was standing, hunched slightly as if all of the heartache were weighing her down.

And at length she looked to her eyes, oddly shinning in the dark light of the night sky. It took her a few moments to realise that it was tears that made her eyes shimmer the way they did. One of them spilled over as her face crushed in sorrow. She grimaced balling up her fists and raised her hand; pushing it forwards using all of the misery and pain she had left in her system before crumpling down where she stood, hugging the floor for all it was worth.

_What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you_

Simon pounded the floor with his fists, forgetting that he was no longer on the soft soil, but the hair running paths. Wind and rain lashed at his hair and exposed areas of skin. Not that he really noticed it al, not that he noticed anything. He didn't even seem to notice when his own girlfriend could see something he couldn't. And he really didn't seem to notice when two warm arms wrapped around his torso, pulling him into an embrace. He didn't even pull away before he knew that scent; he knew those arms, he knew a lot of things about that person.

"Maia called me; I thought I'd find you here…Are you okay?" Her soft voice floated out through her plump lips as she cradled him as though he were nine years old.

_What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and your ok_

Maia crawled to her bed, taking off her sweats and leaving herself in her underwear. Who cared if she wore that to bed? It wasn't like anyone would be paying any attention to her from now on. Time. Time. Time. Time would tell, she supposed, time would tell her whether or not she was too broken for repair. But at least time could not tell her she hadn't done the right thing.

_I'm falling to pieces  
I'm falling to pieces_

"She broke up with me Issy…It's…It's over…I don't know why-what-" He choked off, shutting his eyes and words off to the rest of the world. Her strong hands hauled him up into a standing position as she held him tight.

"It's okay…"She soothed, if he didn't have rain in his ears, he could have sworn she actually meant it. "It's all going to be okay, come on…Let's get you out of central park, huh?" She held him at arms length getting a good look his soaked and rattled form. He opened his eyes, taking in her equally soaked form, her hair plastered to her head, her dark navy coat almost turned black with the rain.

_One still in love while the other ones leaving _

Maia, sighed, closing her stinging eyes, settling down for the short lived slice of peace she liked to call sleep. She pulled the cover over her half naked form, revelling in the smooth texture and inviting warmness. She almost smiled; it reminded her of her bed covers from back home. Maybe this didn't have to end…Maybe it would be better soon. Maybe…So many maybes…Maybe Simon is with her now. Maybe he was, and she found herself relived. She wanted him to be happy. And if that meant him being with Isabelle Lightwood, she'd just have to live with it.

"I love you too, Simon." She whispered into the dark, before sleep overtook her mind, "I will always love you."

_Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven_

"Simon, come with me we can't stay in this park all night. What if-"Isabelle's reasoning was cut off by Simon's cold lips crushing hungrily down on her own. Is this what Maia had meant when everything about him belonged to another? Why he always had thoughts of her on his mind. Her eyes which had closed upon contact flew open in surprise to what she was doing, a war raging behind her eyes. Simon shook his head stepping back, mumbling sorry, over and over and over again. He turned his back to her, liking the way the rain seemed to wash his sins away.

"I'm sorry Issy. Bloody…I just seem to fuck everything up, don't I?" He asked, with his back still to her, running a drenched hand through beyond sodden hair. Her hand lay themselves on his shoulders, pulling him back round to face him, and when his head lowered, she cupped his face between her hands and pulled it up to look at her.

"Hey…" She said quietly, "You didn't fuck this up." She said with a small smile, moving in to place a tender kiss upon his lips.

Because even if his heart was breaking, into so many pieces that he realised when a heart broke it didn't break even, maybe, just maybe, it could be repaired. Not how it was before, but better, different. Maybe that didn't have to be the end for him and Maia, he thought as Isabelle's arms wound their way around his neck deepening the kiss, because if his heart was aching, how hard was she taking it? He'd call her, see if she was alright. But for now, he'd enjoy the want his heart and Maia had known he'd wanted for a long time. His head had just been a little bit behind, he surmised wrapping his hands around her waist and pulling her closer, all the while wind and rain swerved around them like snowflakes in a storm.


End file.
